My Story, Chapter 1

July 20, 2015

My story, chapter 1, it is hard to know exactly where to dig in. I can't say my entire childhood was a mess, but different times as I was growing up there were definitely ups and downs. I want to say God provided us with a wonderful Mom who protected us from as much as she could. Its strange to think back and try to link events with my age, but there are series of events that happened repeatedly and others which were random. Can you relate to being in a house with someone wh...o should never drink? Were you scared, did you wonder what would happen next and especially when that person is your dad ? You trust him, right... he is your dad, but when he drank he was not a happy person, oddly during a full moon it was much worse. This is even hard to put into words, because it was scary, because this is hard truth, my life was not perfect, but we hid it well, or at least I think we did. We went to church as the happy family on Sundays, smiling and acting like everything was ok, but it wasn't. I can reflect now and say if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, don't stay, the damage continues over time, leave and if you are the child tell someone, yes it will be hard for awhile until things are sorted out, but staying through the abuse is worse. Back then, my mom didn't have the ability to leave she felt trapped, it was a different time, how could she support us, how scary to leave it all behind and how scary it was to stay, so we would leave for a few days until things calmed down and then we would come back to empty promises of things being better, apologies and sorry it won't happen again, but that wasn't the truth either. My mom improved her circumstances and finally said enough is enough and at that time I was in 8th grade. It was hard, it was sad, we left our home and moved to another school, leaving behind good friends, needing to make new friends and feeling free at the same time. Breathing because there was no longer the worry it would happen, the screaming, hitting, throwing and threats it was over, but again, it never really leaves. I will continue my story on another post but this is where the issues started, eating to comfort myself and I was heavy as kid in middle school. If you can relate share below as I write this I feel like I am letting go of the "secret" that we grew up with. ‪#‎letitgo‬ ‪#‎speakup‬ ‪#‎abuseisnotacceptable‬ ‪#‎momlovedusthroughitall‬ ‪#‎whatsyourstory‬ ‪#‎mystory‬ ‪#‎sharingiscaring‬ If through this life story I can help you then it is worth sharing !

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