In a short week from now I know that will need to say my actual goodbyes to a very special and dear friend. I have cried and prayed during her battle and struggle with cancer and certainly fell to pieces when I heard of her passing, but nothing is going to compare to her final celebration of life event.
I want to write something to say during the event, but struggle knowing that I will not be able to speak it all without tears and being hard to understand my words and I am praying for the strength to be able to do this one last thing to honor my friend.
It was so good having that one true remarkable friend that would have done absolutely anything for you and never really ask for much in return except your friendship and maybe the occasional favor because she was just very independent. I know that during her battle although she allowed me to help in some ways I know she was just always feeling as though she was bothering me, but letting her know that no matter what she needed I would do it for her, brought a smile to her face. I was not willing to give up hope and prayed God would have a miracle for my friend so she could inspire others to not give up hope. Once during one of our most private, heartfelt moments is when she allowed me to pray over her and for her and ask God to restore her health. I don't feel as though God didnt listen to those prayers and that is hard to understand, but when ask that she be allowed to inspire others, in her way and through him she did. She ask if I could get her Bible to read with bigger letters because her sight was not what it had been and what touched me more was being able to share with her my Mother in Laws Bible. I know that she would too have been honored to know that "her" Bible was being read.
As the days went on, I watched her struggle in pain and yet she always greeted me with a smile, ask about my family and she would tell me all about her day. Her final goal was to be able to stand and just walk on her own because the tumor had put so much pressure on her spine and damage had been done. She was making such progress but with all that was happening she finally took the rest she needed and fell into Gods hands through sleep.
I will forever miss being able to just go see her, sit with her, chat and laugh with her but I will forever keep her in my heart and be thankful for having the time to spend with her albeit too short I pray I get to see her again in the afterlife. As I sit here quietly reflecting on her life, our friendship and good times we share, the tears continue to stream down my face and my heart aches. My final message to her before leaving on my trip was to let her know I was headed to church to ask for prayers in her name. That message went unanswered as I was told she was to tired and weak and slept for the two days proceeding her passing. I am thankful I took the time to be with her, time most people say they are too busy, to let her know just how important she was to me and that I would be by her side for strength and support and just sometimes to have a hand to hold, a hug and kiss on the cheek and remind her just how amazing she is <3
Rest easy my friend and I pray you knew how much you were loved, how much you will be missed and how truly brave and inspiring you were to fight the battle. xoxo Karen